BREAKING: Scientists discover the the other half of the Mayan Calendar, It Was On The Back— Anthony (@iSpeakComedy) December 20, 2012
And now The Mayan Channel forecast. Thursday: cloudy, chance of showers, high 39. Friday: volcanoes, asteroid strikes, apocalypse.
~ David Letterman
What do you get for the Mayan who has everything?New calendar.— mia farrow (@MiaFarrow) December 21, 2012
According to the Mayan calendar tomorrow is doomsday, that's coming from the people who also thought white people were gods— Mike Schism (@MikeSchism) December 20, 2012
Anxiously awaiting the announcement of "It's the Mayan Apocalypse, Charlie Brown."— The Dark Lord (@Lord_Voldemort7) December 19, 2012
If it turns out that the Mayans are right and the world is going to end, you know what this means? Lindsay Lohan is a genius. She’s been partying her brains out. She owes taxes. She’s crashing cars. She’s a genius!
~ Jay Leno
I was about to buy a pound of coffee at Starbucks and a Mayan guy tapped me on the shoulder and said that I probably shouldn't.— Chris Franjola (@ChrisFranjola) December 20, 2012
Mayan Guy: Hey wanna beer? Other Mayan Guy: I'm working on this calendar, but I guess if I don't finish it won't be the end of the world.— Funny Tweets (@FunnyOrTruth) December 20, 2012
Christmas is on Tuesday, provided that the world doesn't end on Friday, which is the end of the Mayan calendar. Some believe there will be massive earthquakes and floods. Others think a planet will collide with the earth. I believe the end of the world will come about in a much stupider way, like Joe Biden spilling a Mountain Dew on the nuclear launch panel.
~ Jimmy Kimmel
Only the Maya knew we'd suffer slow mass extinction due to Mayan jokes.— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) December 20, 2012
Look at us all making end of the world jokes like there's no tomorrow.— Girrl Genius (@GirrlGenius) December 20, 2012