Showing posts with label ted cruz. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ted cruz. Show all posts

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Indiana: Cruz, You Lose And Trump Wins

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Donald Trump won the Indiana Primary and within a few hours his only real competition, Senator Ted Cruz, made a concession speech and announced he was dropping out. The next day, John Kasich of Ohio became the last competitor to give up and let Donald become the anointed one of the GOP.

So Trump is what they've got and they are stuck with him.









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Cruz can blame it on Mike Pence, the unpopular governor of Indiana, who gave him a lukewarm endorsement also "commending" Donald Trump.





But voters might point to Cruz himself, who made the unthinkable unforced error in the Hoosier state of calling a basketball hoop a "basketball ring." Did he bother to watch the movie "Hoosiers" before campaigning there? Has he ever heard of "Hoop Dreams?"









Cruz Ends Campaign





Ted also pummeled his wife on stage:





This followed a week in which John Boehner called Ted "Lucifer in the Flesh" and Trump accused his father, Rafael, of somehow being involved in the JFK assassination.



























One of the people dragged down by Ted Cruz in all this was Carly Fiorina, his erstwhile "running-mate" for a week. Her own run for the nomination failed because she is as unlikable as Cruz himself. But becoming Cruz's partner was worse as she embarrassed herself singing a creepy song to the Cruz children, and then ignored by everyone except Heidi Cruz when she suddenly fell from the stage while introducing the family. You really can't make this stuff up.

Will Fiorina be working for Trump soon like everyone else in the GOP? Probably. She is clearly desperate for attention, even negative attention - much like Chris Christie. But her run with Cruz will go down in history as a bizarre footnote to a crazy ill-fated campaign.























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Monday, April 11, 2016

Election Jokes of the Week April 10, 2016

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On the Republican side, I saw that Ted Cruz visited a matzah factory in Brooklyn. Of course, matzah is the unleavened bread that Jewish people eat for Passover, and Ted Cruz is the presidential candidate that New Yorkers will definitely pass over.
~ Jimmy Fallon











While campaigning in New York today, Hillary Clinton rode the subway and had to swipe her metro card five times before getting through a turnstile. Though if you know Hillary Clinton, you know she'll keep trying until she gets in.
She swiped her metro card five times, which means it only took the crowd behind her 10 seconds to go from "Oh my God it's Hillary!" to "Let's go lady!"
~ Seth Meyers







After weeks of back and forth, Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton have finally agreed to hold a debate in Brooklyn next Thursday. You know you're in New York when you have to argue over the date of when you're going to argue.
~ Jimmy Fallon

Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders have scheduled a debate for next Thursday in Brooklyn. Which is about as close as Bernie Sanders can get to Wall Street without spontaneously combusting.
~ Seth Meyers







"Bernie Sanders won on the Democratic side in the Wisconsin primary. Sanders' Wisconsin supporters celebrated by drinking Old Milwaukee, or as Bernie calls it, 'Young Milwaukee.'"
~ Jimmy Fallon

"There is an ironclad rule of politics: No funny hats."
~ Ted Cruz in Wisconsin




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Sunday, April 3, 2016

Election Jokes of the Week April 3, 2016

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Jimmy Kimmel Trump April Fool's Joke:




SNL: A Nutjob for Trump




"If I were in my car and getting ready to reverse and saw Donald (Trump) in the backup camera, I'm not confident which pedal I'd push."
~ Ted Cruz on possibly running over Trump, on Jimmy Kimmel

"Serial killer or cereal?"
~ GOP nominee Ted Cruz after being asked his favorite cereal on Jimmy Kimmel, joking about the crazy rumors that he is really the Zodiac Killer from before he was born. Real answer? Mueslix, LOL.

"Donald Trump became a grandfather for the eighth time, ladies and gentlemen. When Trump actually met the baby, he was like, 'Wow, look at the size of those hands!'"
~ James Corden

"Donald Trump got a nice delivery on Sunday: a new grandson. His daughter Ivanka gave birth to a baby boy. She named him Theodore, which is interesting. Theodore is usually shortened to Ted, like Ted Cruz. That's one way to get back at your father. 'Dad, we'd like you to meet Theodore, Rosie, Megyn Kelly, Mexicans, Muslims, Jeb Bush.'"
~ Jimmy Kimmel

"It's been reported that a contributor to CNN has been having an affair with Ted Cruz. All I can say is, way to go, Wolf Blitzer!"
~ Conan O'Brien

Bernie Sanders today held a campaign rally in the South Bronx. Sanders said it was great to be in a neighborhood where he wasn’t the loudest person.
~ Seth Meyers

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Monday, March 28, 2016

GOP Reels from #CruzSexScandal

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Previous Related Posts:
Ted Cruz Runs For President 2016
Ted Cruz is Scaring Small Children Now
Ted Cruz Surprised by Canadian Citizenship
Clueless Ted Cruz Helps President Obama With Confirmations
Green Eggs and Sham - the Cruz Filibuster Continues
Ted Cruz Attempts to Filibuster Obamacare
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just a few days after ultra-conservative and religious-right leader Ted Cruz won all the delegates in the conservative family-centered state of Utah, his campaign is suddenly hit with a huge sex scandal. There are allegations of multiple mistresses, and the insinuation that his long-suffering wife may have tried to commit suicide over his infidelity.

This was the last thing the GOP needed just before Easter weekend of all times. It's a complete disaster.

Twitter has gone wild with the hashtags #CruzSexScandal and #CubanMistressCrises.

It all started after a pro-Cruz Super Pac posted nude pictures of Trump's wife Melania. The Donald jumped onto Twitter and blamed Cruz, also threatening to "spill the beans" on Cruz's wife, Heidi. No one knew exactly what he meant by that.



Cruz denied posting the pictures of Melania and told Trump to back off:







NBC reporter Hallie Jackson listened as Cruz blasted Trump,
then immediately cornered him on whether he would still
back Trump as GOP nominee. He gave no real answer, just
saying that he would beat Trump, and "Trump will not be
the nominee."







About 24 hours later, the Enquirer story appeared on Twitter and all hell broke lose.

Furious Cruz blamed Trump and his "henchmen."

From CNN
"Let me be clear, this National Enquirer story is garbage. It is complete and utter lies. It is a tabloid smear, and it is a smear from Donald Trump and his henchmen," Cruz said Friday, adding that he believes Trump "directed these attacks."



From the Daily Beast:
The National Enquirer alleged on March 23 that the senator has had five extramarital affairs. And the descriptions it provided of the women—along with barely-pixelated headshots of them—left little to D.C. insiders’ imaginations as to who the Enquirer had accused of being Cruz paramours.

“A HOOKER, A TEACHER & COWORKERS: 5 romps that will destroy Ted Cruz!” the Enquirer piece boldly claims, in an article that includes a wild “sex-in-closet” allegation.

. . . The truth behind the rumor-mongering, however, is a little more complex. A half-dozen GOP operatives and media figures tell The Daily Beast that Cruz’s opponents have been pushing charges of adultery for at least six months now—and that allies of former GOP presidential hopeful Marco Rubio were involved in spreading the smears.



Some were reminded of Dem candidate John Edwards,
outed for having a love child with a photographer.



Trump denied knowing anything about the story and issued a statement, then pointed to a Daily Beast story giving the Rubio campaign the credit for the original leaks about Ted's adultery.











Pictures of the supposed mistresses were shown in the tabloid with their eyes covered, but people soon outed several of them:



Katrina Pierson once worked for Cruz, now is a spokesperson for Trump. It was rumored when she left the Cruz Camp that Cruz's wife Heidi had pushed her out. Now things are doubly awkward as Pierson was chosen to "spill the beans" on national TV.

From Citizens for Trump
“Spilling the beans is quite simple when it comes to Heidi Cruz,” Pierson said in an interview with MSNBC’s Steve Kornacki.
“She is a Bush operative; she worked for the architect of NAFTA, which has killed millions of jobs in this country; she was a member on the Council on Foreign Relations who — in Sen. Cruz’s own words, called a nest of snakes that seeks to undermine national sovereignty; and she’s been working for Goldman Sachs, the same global bank that Ted Cruz left off of his financial disclosure,” Pierson said.
“Her entire career has been spent working against everything Ted Cruz says that he stands for,” she added.
Cruz spokeswoman Alice Stewart responded to the remarks in a statement to The Hill, saying, “There’s no low the Trump campaign won’t go.”





Former Cruz communications director Amanda Carpenter now works for CNN. She once wrote a strange tweet calling Ted "Daddy Cruz."



She recently compiled a "Blacklist of Trump supporters to show her support for Cruz as the GOP nominee.

It’s time to make a list.
A list of those so-called conservatives and Republicans endorsing Donald Trump, the megalomaniac who regularly threatens his opponents and the press, raves about making members of our military adopt ISIS-like tactics, has funded Obamacare and Gang of Eight Democrats, promises to forcibly relocate American companies to his liking, and has demonstrated again and again he intends to govern as a tyrannical King rather than a President.
Call it a boycott, call it a blackball, call it a blacklist, call it whatever you want. I’m done with these folks and other conservatives should be, too. Anyone who will defend a man condoning random acts of violence at his rallies has lost his morals; he will defend anything at all.
- See more at: https://www.conservativereview.com/commentary/2016/03/blackballing-those-who-endorse-trump#sthash.KZ22KxLT.dpuf



She also once tweeted (ironically now) about the John Edwards scandal:



Carpenter was on the air when a Trump operative asked her point-blank about the allegations, leading to a shocked reaction:

From Gawker
Amanda Carpenter and pro-Trump newspaper columnist Adriana Cohen were asked to discuss the two candidates’ ridiculous feud over their wives. As soon as Cohen began speaking, talk turned to...something else.
“I think we should move on,” Cohen said when anchor Kate Bolduan asked her about the spousal sniping. “Where we should move to is the National Enquirer story that has reported that Ted Cruz has allegedly had affairs with at least five mistresses, including—you’ve been named, Amanda.”
. . . Carpenter forcefully denied the claim, with understandable dismay at being accused of an affair on live national television. “What’s out there is tabloid trash. If someone wants to comment on it, they can talk to my lawyer. It is categorically false. You should be ashamed for spreading this kind of smut. Donald Trump supporters should be held to account for it,” she said.


A third possible mistress, Sarah Isgur Flores, could spell serious legal trouble for Cruz's campaign. In an unusual twist, the Cruz Super PAC gave a large donation to the Super PAC of rival candidate Carly Fiorina. It is rumored to have been "hush money," paid to cover up the fact that Cruz and Flores were fooling around.

From Heavy
A Ted Cruz-affiliated Super PAC, Keep the Promise I, donated $500,000 to rival Carly Fiorina’s presidential campaign in July 2015. The Washington Post noted that the donation was “unusual” at the time, but Twitter and the National Enquirer claim to have a key piece of context: Cruz was having an affair with Fiorina staffer Sarah Isgur Flores.
. . . As goes the theory, when Fiorina found out about the affair, Cruz silenced her with a half-million-dollar donation.







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Saturday, March 19, 2016

Trump Looms Large as GOP Slouches Towards Cleveland

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Previous Related Posts:
Nazi Trump Demands Sieg Heil from Crowd - But Not Racist Of Course
Trump and the Klan on Super Tuesday Eve
Trump Triumphant So Far
Trump Jumps the Shark With Facist Ideas
Ted Cruz Dreams of a Jesse Helms Army
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This week several Republican pundits have expressed real fear about a possible Trump Presidency, for instance David Brooks of the New York Times



Donald Trump is an affront to basic standards of honesty, virtue and citizenship. He pollutes the atmosphere in which our children are raised. He has already shredded the unspoken rules of political civility that make conversation possible. In his savage regime, public life is just a dog-eat-dog war of all against all.
As the founders would have understood, he is a threat to the long and glorious experiment of American self-government. He is precisely the kind of scapegoating, promise-making, fear-driving and deceiving demagogue they feared.
Trump’s supporters deserve respect. They are left out of this economy. But Trump himself? No, not Trump, not ever.
~ Brooks in his NYT Op-Ed

Next, from Erick Erickson and other members of "Conservatives Against Trump"

Source Here
This morning I participated in a meeting of grassroots conservative activists from around the country who are committed to opposing Donald Trump. We have agreed to release the statement below:

We are a group of grassroots conservative activists from all over the country and from various backgrounds, including supporters of many of the other campaigns. We are committed to ensuring a real conservative candidate is elected. We believe that neither Hillary Clinton nor Donald Trump, a Hillary Clinton donor, is that person.

We believe that the issue of Donald Trump is greater than an issue of party. It is an issue of morals and character that all Americans, not just those of us in the conservative movement, must confront.

We call for a unity ticket that unites the Republican Party. If that unity ticket is unable to get 1,237 delegates prior to the convention, we recognize that it took Abraham Lincoln three ballots at the Republican convention in 1860 to become the party’s nominee and if it is good enough for Lincoln, that process should be good enough for all the candidates without threats of riots.

We encourage all former Republican candidates not currently supporting Trump to unite against him and encourage all candidates to hold their delegates on the first ballot.

Lastly, we intend to keep our options open as to other avenues to oppose Donald Trump. Our multiple decades of work in the conservative movement for free markets, limited government, national defense, religious liberty, life, and marriage are about ideas, not necessarily parties.

Then there is Stuart Stevens, seasoned political consultant, who can't stop ranting about the disaster of Trumpism for his party:












The GOP is hoping that in the next few weeks Ted Cruz and John Kasich can win enough votes and delegates away from Donald Trump to keep him from becoming the Republican nominee for President. But what happens if he is still the delegate leader when they get to the convention floor?

Just the phrase "brokered convention" instills real fear, and yet somebody has to do something:

Ted Cruz: "It would be a disaster"












Stephen Colbert poked fun at Republicans for using the ephemism "Open Convention": "Honey, we don't have an broken marriage, we have an open marriage instead!" He also said:

"See when a candidate wins a primary, he really wins delegates who are committed to him at the convention, but only for the first ballot . . . So if Donald Trump doesn't get 1,237 delegates in the first round of voting, they're all free to vote for whoever, which is great news. The Republican campaign could start all over again. But this time it's all one week: You can binge-watch the death of the GOP."










Trump sent a clear message to all those praying for an open, broken, borked, or brokered convention:

"I think you'd have riots. I think you'd have riots ...I'm representing a tremendous many, many millions of people."
~~ Trump on CNN's New Day

Later he rolled back that answer, saying through surrogate Chris Christie that he didn't mean literal riots:

Via The Hill
“I don’t think he meant literal riots,” Christie said during a press conference in New Jersey, according to The Wall Street Journal. "I think he meant political riots."
Still, Christie, who has endorsed Trump and appeared with him at campaign rallies, predicted that a contested convention selecting the Republican nominee would generate outrage.
“If someone goes in with the most delegates, the most votes, and then they are denied the nomination by what they consider to be political insiders, I think there would be real upset at that convention,” he said. The Republican National Convention will be held in Cleveland in July.



Ex-nominee in 2012 Mitt Romney has been leading the charge to a brokered convention as part of the "Stop Trump" movement, and just yesterday he pledged support to Ted Cruz, even though they are rather strange bedfellows - an Evangelical firebrand and a moderate Mormon.



Trump was not amused, of course, and wasted no time lambasting Romney, joking in Utah that he loved Mormons because they were so hard-working, but he wasn't sure Romney was really a Mormon.





Trump also tweeted at Cruz and Romney:









Back to Stuart Stevens, GOP pundit:



Protesters outside his Utah rally minced no words:











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Thursday, March 3, 2016

Election 2016 ~ Super Tuesday

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It was a crazy night to say the least! Hillary and Trump won big, but so did Ted Cruz. Bernie Sanders won several states and many delegates, but lost the New England prize of Massachusetts to Hillary. Rubio won the single state of Minnesota on the GOP side, but Kasich lost Maine to Trump. Ben Carson was missing and no one really knows what he was doing, but he dropped out of the race the day after.



So here's how it went:



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Wednesday, February 24, 2016

GOP Stuck with Monster Trump

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Previous Related Posts:
Trump Triumphant So Far
Palin Endorses Trump
Trump Misogyny - the Schlong and Short of It
Trump Jumps the Shark with Facism
Trump Gives Helicopter Rides at Iowa State Fair
Trump's Hair and Other Viral Memes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The far-right and their Fox Noise Machine created Trump, and now they know they are stuck with him. If he loses, they lose to the Democrats. But if he wins, they still lose because they have to work with him and kiss up to him forever. There is no way to really win.











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Trump Triumphant So Far

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Previous Related Posts:
Palin Endorses Trump
Trump Misogyny - the Schlong and Short of It
Trump Jumps the Shark with Facism
Trump Gives Helicopter Rides at Iowa State Fair
Trump's Hair and Other Viral Memes
First #GOP Primary Debate on Fox
Countdown to Trump Clown Car Debate
Trump Tosses Univision's Jorge Ramos

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Donald Trump can't get over himself, and his followers apparently can't get enough of him either. In spite of hopes from both Dems and Republicans that Trump would get tired of parading around as American's next white hope, he has become the nearly undisputed GOP front runner in the Republican Primary for President of the United States. He won the South Carolina Primary last Tuesday, and easily scooped another win in Nevada.

Meanwhile, little Marco Rubio keeps insisting that his second or third place ties with Ted Cruz are actually wins, and that the longer he stays in the race, the more likely he is to accidentally win something. Or something.

Cruz is just crestfallen that his God has forgotten to anoint him King of Merica yet.

Kasich is hanging on by a slim thread of who-knows-what, and doing embarrassing non-Moderate things like banning funding for Planned Parenthood in Ohio, and saying that women "left the kitchen" to vote for him in SC.

Rebublicans and Fox News are starting to panic at what a train-wreck their Primary Convention is going to be, with low-spending rogue Trump slamming everybody - especially the media - while praising himself to the skies.

No matter how horrible Trump is, they love him. Super Tuesday is looming on March 1st and he's expected to walk away with it. And the world watches in horror.

However, let's remember that this is the Primary Season, and in order to win Trump has had to be vicious towards minorities, immigrants and women (not that he minds) and has even attacked the Pope, and they still vote for him. But the fact is, once we pivot to a contest between Trump and Hillary, he just can't win anymore. He will never get the vote from minority groups, LGBT, women, and mainstream liberals. Oh, some ex-Bernie Libertarians may join him since they have vowed to never vote for Hillary, but the rest of us will just need to show up and vote against him, end of story.





















































































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