Showing posts with label satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label satire. Show all posts

Monday, January 12, 2015

#JeSuisCharlie ~ The Paris Attack on Charlie Hebdo

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From Agence France Presse
The immediate aftermath of the attack, which saw Islamist gunmen storm the offices of the satirical French weekly and leave 12 dead overall, saw countless posts on social media in which Twitter and Facebook users voiced solidarity with the hashtag #JeSuisCharlie, or "I am Charlie".
. . . The assault, the deadliest attack on France in half a century, has sparked a massive show of support, with more than 1.5 million people mourning the victims in the Paris march, including several world leaders.
In all, nearly four million people took to the streets of France nationwide, while thousands marched in European, US and Canadian cities.











The original attackers have been dealt with by Paris forces, but attacks have now happened in Germany and threatened elsewhere, whether by copycats, sympathizers, or sleeper cells.

From BBC News
Two brothers who killed 12 in an attack on Charlie Hebdo magazine on Wednesday were shot dead as they fled a warehouse north of Paris, firing at police.
Shortly afterwards in eastern Paris, anti-terrorist forces stormed a kosher supermarket where hostages were being held by a gunman with reported links to the brothers.
The gunman and four hostages died.
French police believe the captives were killed before the assault on the Hypercasher supermarket near Porte de Vincennes, Paris prosecutor Francois Molins told reporters late on Friday.
Four hostages were seriously injured and 15 were rescued unhurt. Two police officers were injured.





While most of the world marches and creates tribute to the lives lost, some on the right and far-left have lost it over the religious aspect, totally missing the point that this was terrorism.







So many cartoons and tributes to the dead and to freedom of speech. Here are just a few:
















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Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Jim Carrey Rankles Right with "Cold Dead Hand" Spoof

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UPDATE: March 30, 2013

Jim Carrey has written a reply to all the criticism coming from Fox News and the rest of the Wingnut-o-Sphere:

Via EW Popwatch
“Since I released my “Cold Dead Hand” video on Funny or Die this week, I have watched Fux News rant, rave, bare its fangs and viciously slander me because of my stand against large magazines and assault rifles. I would take them to task legally if I felt they were worth my time or that anyone with a brain in their head could actually fall for such irresponsible buffoonery. That would gain them far too much attention which is all they really care about.

I’ll just say this: in my opinion Fux News is a last resort for kinda-sorta-almost-journalists whose options have been severely limited by their extreme and intolerant views; a media colostomy bag that has begun to burst at the seams and should be emptied before it becomes a public health issue.

I sincerely believe that in time, good people will lose patience with the petty and poisonous behavior of these bullies and Fux News will be remembered as nothing more than a giant culture fart that no amount of Garlique could cure.

I wish them all the luck that accompanies such malevolence.”


I find the gun problem frustrating and ‘Cold Dead Hand’ is my fun little way of expressing that frustration.
~ Jim Carrey via Huffington Post

In this Funny or Die spoof, Jim Carrey gives a finger to the late gun enthusiast, impersonating him along with the lead singer of a fictional band performing their chart-topping hit, "Cold Dead Hands." The jingle pokes fun at Heston's favorite slogan: "I'll give you my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead hands."
~ Daily Beast


"Cold Dead Hand"

By Lonesome Earl and the Clutterbusters

Ahhhh, Ahhhh, Ahhhh, Ahhhh

Some folks ride like the wind
With the whispering pines to guide them,
And the burning light inside them
Keeps them warm in the snow.

Others fear the sounds they hear
Make bandidos out of molehills
Fill their hearts with por-cu-pine quills
They're dead and buried
Long before they go.

Charlton Heston Movies are no longer in demand.
And his immortal soul may lay forever in the sand.
The angels wouldn't take him up to heaven like he planned,
'Cause they couldn't pry that gun from his
Cold Dead Hand.

Charlton Heston: "What did he say?"

It takes a cold dead hand
To decide to pull the trigger
Takes a cold dead heart
And as near as I can figure
You're tryin' to prove your d*ck is bigger
But we know
Your chariot may not be swingin' low.

Ahhhoooo (Wolf Howl)

Cold Dead Hand! Cold Dead Ha-nd!
Cold Dead Hand! Cold Dead Ha-nd!

You're a big big man with a little-bitty gland
So you need something bigger just to fill
Your Cold Dead Hand!

Charlton Heston: They're making fun of everything I hold dear.

Imagine if the Lord were here
And he knew what you've been thinkin'
Would his sacred heart be sinkin'
Into the Canyon of Dismay?
And on the ones who sell the guns
He'd sic the vultures and coyotes
Only the Devil's true devotees
Could profiteer from pain and fear.

Charlton Heston Movies are no longer in demand.
And his immortal soul may lay forever in the sand.
The angels wouldn't take him up to heaven like he planned,
'Cause they couldn't pry that gun from his
Cold Dead Hand.

It takes a cold dead hand
To decide to pull the trigger
Takes a cold dead heart
And as near as I can figure
You're tryin' to prove your d*ck is bigger
But we know
Your chariot may not be swingin' low.

Cold Dead Hand! Cold Dead Ha-nd!
Cold Dead Hand! Cold Dead Ha-nd!

You're a big big man with a little-bitty gland
So you need something bigger
with a hairpin trigger.
You don't want to get caught
With your trousers down
When a psycho killer comes around.
So you make your home like a Thunderdome,
And you're always packin' everywhere you roam.
But the psychos win no matter what you do
'Cause they're gonna buy way more
Guns than you.

And while you're stumblin' out of bed
They put five rounds in the back of your head.
And you get depressed 'cause your weenie went south
So you put your shotgun in your mouth
And the kids walk in and they find you there
Like a headless lump in your underwear.
And they move the gun and it kills them too,
And your wife just doesn't know what to do.
So she takes a hand-grenade from her shoe
and then she pulls the pin --
And it's all on you-hoo . . .

And your Cold Dead Hand!

(sound of a gunshot)

Well what in the heck was that?

Charlton Heston: I accidentally shot my foot off.

Aw, shoot!

Hahahahahahaha!




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That’s the only question with gun control: should the government and rich elites like Bloomberg, Feinstein and Jim Carrey have a monopoly on force?
~ Ann Coulter on Fox News

He is probably the most pathetic tool on the face of the earth and I hope his career is dead and I hope he ends up sleeping in his car like his life began. This video only made me want to go out and buy a gun. He thinks this is biting satire, going after rural America and a dead man.
What did this jackass Jim Carrey do? He was behind the anti-vaccine panic. He’s a dirty, stinking coward, he’s a moral coward.
He’s such a pathetic, sad, little freak. He’s a gibbering mess, he’s a modern bigot.
. . . He’s a bottomless pit of insecurity. And the desire for acceptance is why he’s doing this because in his heart he knows he’s a fraud.
~ Greg Gutfeld of Fox's "The Five" via The Blaze

















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Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Swiss Miss Romney Girl Song

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Romney Girl Official Website
In 2010, Miss Swiss left Geneva (after safely depositing all of her own money into a Swiss bank account) and moved to Searchlight, Nevada, where she joined a small Swiss expat community of retired yodelers and milkmaids. It was there she bumped into Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid while burning his book “The Good Fight” during a local sheep-shearing festival. Miss Swiss told Senator Reid about Mr. Romney’s tax avoidance “because I thought it was so funny that a Senator would actually think that rich people pay taxes! So silly!” Miss Swiss has not heard from Mr. Romney since he began his Presidential run, but believes he is following her on Twitter @realromneygirl.

In her free time, Miss Swiss, AKA Romney Girl, enjoys watching sitcoms like Fox & Friends, climbing the Swiss Alps, making cheese fondue, and listening to her favorite pop band Aqua.

Romney Girl recently gained public attention for inadvertently informing Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid that that Mitt Romney had paid zero taxes in the last ten years.

Lyrics Via Alternet
A hilarious new video introduces us to fictional character "Romney Girl" and allows us to put the "who's Harry Reid's source?" rumors to rest:

Miss Swiss "Bank Account" hails from Ostermundigen, Switzerland and is the proud daughter of a Nestle Chocolate factory worker and a regionally respected Cuckoo clock maker. She worked as a tax consultant for offshore bank accounts at UBS in Geneva, Switzerland from 2008-2010 where she first met Mitt Romney, who would frequently show up to the bank unannounced and throw $100 bills up in the air while shouting, "Thank God for Amnesty!"

I’m a Romney girl, in a Romney world.
Life is taxless. It’s fantastic.
Silver tip your hair, tax shelters everywhere.
Outsource nation, Bain is his creation

(Mitt)
I'm Mitt Romney, let's go party

(Miss Swiss)
I'm a Romney girl, in a Romney world.
He's so plastic, it's fantastic.
Silver tip your hair, tax shelters everywhere.
Outsource nation, Bain is his creation

(Miss Swiss)
He's a boss, millionaire, with accounts everywhere
Won't disclose, all the dough, that he's banking

(Mitt)
You can't see, Ann agrees, we hate transparency
If you knew, we'd be screwed, spanky-spanky


(Miss Swiss)
He is rich, you are poor,
If he wins, you're uninsured

(Miss Swiss)
I'm a Romney girl, in a Romney world.
Life is taxless. It's fantastic,
Silver tip your hair, tax shelters everywhere,
Outsource nation, Bain is his creation

(Mitt)
I'm Mitt Romney, let's go party,
I'm Mitt Romney, let's go party,
I'm Mitt Romney, let's go party,
I'm Mitt Romney, let's go party

(Miss Swiss)
Sell your stock, I won't talk, dodging taxes with ease,
Represent, one percent, he will do as we please.

(Mitt)
Come jump in, Wall Street friends, let us do it again,
Write the laws, they'll applaud, let's go party.

(Miss Swiss)
He is rich, you are poor,
If he wins, you're uninsured

(Mitt)
I am rich, oh the joy!
If I win, you're unemployed

I'm Mitt Romney, let's go party,
Come on Romney, let's go party,
Come on Romney, let's go party,
Come on Romney, let's go party!

(Miss Swiss)
I'm a Romney girl, in a Romney world.
Life is taxless, It's fantastic.
Silver tip your hair, tax shelters everywhere,
Outsource nation, Bain is his creation

(Miss Swiss)
Oh, Mitt I'm having so much fun!

(Mitt)
Well Miss Swiss, we're just getting started!

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