Showing posts with label bristol palin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bristol palin. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Starbucks War on Christmas

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It's the time of year when frosty mornings lead to a new level of "War on Christmas" poutrage from the religious right. This happens every year, but has reached a new level of stupid.

Starbucks coffee company decided this year to use red cups for the holidays but leave off Christmas symbols like snowflakes, reindeer and trees (are those even religious?), and this caused some idiot "preacher" on Facebook named Joshua Feuerstein to make a viral video saying people should tell baristas that their name is "Merry Christmas" so they would have to say it out loud. Then the internet crazies took over and called for a boycott over the red cup, which even made Bristol Palin embarrassed - and her mother literally wrote the book on the "War on Christmas"!!!






























Ben Carson would understand!






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Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Wingnuts in Uproar Over Denali Name Change

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Proving once again that wingnuts will despise ANYTHING President Obama does, the wingnuts went even more nuts than usual when the name of Mt. McKinley in Alaska was changed back to the Native name of "Denali."

Via National Geographic
What's in a name? For the tallest mountain in North America, plenty. On Sunday, U.S. Secretary of the Interior Sally Jewell signed an order officially changing the name of the 20,320-foot (6,194-meter) peak in Alaska from Mount McKinley to Denali.
“With our own sense of reverence for this place, we are officially renaming the mountain Denali in recognition of the traditions of Alaska Natives and the strong support of the people of Alaska,” Jewell said in a statement.
Denali, the peak's traditional name in the local Koyukon Athabascan language, means "the great one."



Breitbart called it a "Teachable Moment in Tyranny" even while admitting that most Alaskans wanted the change. But . . . but . . . Obama, that tyrannical Kenyan!!!!!!
Alaskans, and millions who love Alaska, support changing the name of Mt. McKinley to Denali. And that is exactly why President Barack Obama’s unilateral decision to change the name is so wrong.
When we allow leaders to bend the rules for popular policies, we create bad precedents for them to bend the rules for unpopular ones. The name ought to have been changed through a legislative compromise, or a consultative administrative process–not by fiat.
. . . Instead, Obama acted out of sheer vanity, timing the name change with his Alaskan visit.

Donald Trump vowed to change it back, of course, hahaha. More likely he will name it for himself. Trump Mountain. Trump Highest Peak in North America.



The reason Trump says it is an "insult to Ohio" is that President McKinley was from Ohio. So of course, the Ohio wingnuts went berserk, including Senators Boehner and Portman:





Portman was wrong about the assassination of McKinley. According to Talking Points Memo, the mountain was officially named several years before McKinley died.

Bob Cesca pointed out on Salon:
• The Alaska Geographic Board has actually used “Denali” as Alaska’s official name for the mountain since 1975.
• The National Park that includes Denali has been known as “Denali National Park and Preserve” since 1980.
. . . Sarah Palin, of all people, referred to the mountain as Denali in her 2009 farewell address after resigning halfway through her first term as governor.

Yes, Sarah Palin called the mountain Denali, but her daughter Bristol wasn't paying attention (probably as usual). I thought Todd Palin had Inuit ancestors?

From Wonkette:
Well finally that Alaskan idiot — no, not Sarah, but her spawn Bristol ...has weighed in, and ...what the hell is she even talking about?

President Obama is taking a trip to the Alaskan Arctic.
I wish we could add up how much this trip costs the tax payers dollars……….. They probably had to BARGE limousines here!!!!!!! They rented out an entire TOWER at our nicest hotel here? A TOWER!!!!!!!!!!
Is her mother ghostwriting for her, or did Bristol just write this drunk? Did they really have to BARGE limousines here!!!!!! To a TOWER!!!!!!!!! At our nicest hotel here? All right, cut the semi-literate shit, let’s get to the good stuff:
By the way, no one is buying the “Denali is what the Alaskans have called it for years” line. I’ve never called the mountain Denali .. and neither does anyone I know …
It’s Mt. Mckinley … It always has been and always will be to most of us… What a waste..
Look, here is your mommy, on video, quitting her job and saying “Denali” ... “Denali, The Great One, soaring under the midnight sun,” Sarah Palin says, right around the 1:25 mark. Did that sound like “Mt. McKinley” to you, Bristol?




















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Friday, October 10, 2014

The #PalinBrawl Police Report Laugh-Olympics

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Previous Related Posts:
Palin Proud of Daughter Bristol in #PalinBrawl
Palin Family in White-Trash Brawl

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Anchorage police release the report on #PalinBrawl. Read it below and let the jokes begin!

Via Talking Points Memo
Anchorage Police Department spokeswoman Jennifer Castro told the Alaska Dispatch News that prosecutors had decided not to pursue a case following the police investigation.
On Thusday, TPM obtained a copy of the report compiled by the Anchorage Police Department that contained summaries of interviews with witnesses about the Sept. 6 incident at a house party in Anchorage.

Palin Brawl Police Report



From Alaska Dispatch News
Daily described Bristol Palin as “heavily intoxicated and upset.” She told Daily that Klingenmeyer had pushed her to the ground and dragged her across the lawn after she had attempted to confront a woman about hitting her younger sister, Willow. Bristol said she was beginning to leave when she saw her brother attacked. She told Daily she “didn’t have any clue” whether she hit Klingenmeyer or not.
Klingenmeyer told Daily he was “angry that the Palins had showed up and were causing the problems,” and that he was considering filing charges but he later told another officer that he had changed his mind.
The Anchorage municipal prosecutor’s office will not be proceeding with charges in the case, according to Anchorage Police Department spokesperson Jennifer Castro.

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The internet comments are priceless! :)

"Korey drug her across the lawn by her legs and was calling her a c*nt and a slut."
First sentence of great American novel written.
~ Lucidamente1 on Wonkette

Rashomonghazi!
~ Msgr_Moment on Wonkette

In defense of the Palin daughters, if my mom sounded like theirs and I had to listen to it every day, I would spend every waking moment drunk too.
~ formerChild on Wonkette

You really have to read the full report for added lulz: "Korey told her that he wasn’t going to have any of that here and told her to go home. She then asked ‘Who the fuck are you?’ and he told her he was the one who owns this house and there’s no fighting going on here. She then told him that he doesn’t own this place and that she will kick his ass.”
~ tallmutha on Wonkette

How the mighty have fallen -- remember when Palin was ruining a national party? Now she just ruins birthday parties.
~ SayItWithWookies on Wonkette

Why wasn't anyone armed? Why were no openly carried weapons discharged? Seems lame to just fist-fight when you have such a weapons fetish.
~ Austin_Dave on Talking Points Memo

Barstool and Pillow are such ladies. The invitation to join Junior League must be forthcoming.
~ Anti​Sachet​De​The on Talking Points Memo

As I read the police report, I couldn't help but picture this happening at the Navel Observatory in Washington, DC. Imagine. It was this close. John McCain needs to be admitted to a facility.
~ FootballBat on Talking Points Memo

Also, the police report pretty much confirms there's video out there somewhere. More than one person claimed there was video, but when the police followed up a few days later the homeowner said no one he spoke to had video. Makes sense. If I had video of something so glorious I wouldn't hand it over to the police, I'd hightail it to TMZ. If the quality is good and the Palins are on the video I would guess it's worth 6 figures
~ PluckyInKy on Talking Points Memo

But they said it was Todd's Birthday Party?!!!!
And his twin brother! I didn't even know he had a twin!
~ Teen​La​Queefa on Talking Points Memo

Can you imagine the Obamas acting like this?? me neither.
~ Hansy Puguero on Huff Post

Sarah puts the A$$ in CLA$$
~ Chris W. on Huff Post

Paddle faster. I hear banjos!
~ Timothy R. on Huff Post

If only McPalin had been elected. We would have had really really important reality TV. Kinda like the Waltons on Oxy.
~ Tony M. on Huff Post

So glad we have this fine Christian family as spiritual leaders for the rest of us.
~ Debra D. on Huff Post


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Monday, September 22, 2014

Palin Proud of Daughter Bristol in #PalinBrawl

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This is an update to a Previous Related Post:

Palin Family Involved in White Trash Brawl

This "event" has come to be known in Twitter circles by the hashtag #PalinBrawl. See the above link for three different versions of how the smackdown evolved into a brawl.

Sarah Palin has decided to defend her wayward daughter Bristol, who was last seen kicking someone's ass on the fateful night, which also happened to be her father Todd's 50th birthday.

From Sarah's Facebook Page:
Sarah Palin
September 19 at 1:25pm ·

I love my Bristol! My straight-shooter is one of the strongest young women you'll ever meet. I have to say this as a proud mama: right up there with their work ethic and heart for those less fortunate, my kids' defense of family makes my heart soar! As you can imagine, they and my extended family have experienced so many things (liberal media-driven) that may have crushed others without a strong foundation of faith, and I'm thankful for our friends' prayer shield that surrounds them, allowing faith to remain their anchor. Thank you, prayer warriors! I love you!

- Sarah Palin

This comes after new eyewitnesses spoke about Bristol's role in the family brawl.

Via Talking Points Memo
"It was just so shocking," Roberta Thompson told TPM.
She mostly confirmed what her husband told multiple news outlets last week, saying that the two of them were right next to each other during the incident. But she provided her own take on how the events unfolded, including a portion that she said involved the eldest Palin daughter, Bristol Palin, and the owner of the house, Korey Klingenmeyer.

"What I saw was two girls run past and run towards Korey," Roberta Thompson said. "And then I just saw Bristol Palin start punching him in the face."
"It was quite, quite violent," she added.

She said Klingenmeyer was clearly upset about what was happening but maintained his composure.
"She kept punching him and then he just said, you know, 'You need to go,'" Thompson said.















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Monday, September 15, 2014

Palin Family Involved in White-Trash Brawl ~ with Multiple Versions

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Previous Related Posts:
Palin Urges GOP to Impeach Obama
Sarah Palin Inquisition: Baptize Terrorists with Waterboarding

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The hashtag #PalinBrawl came forth this weekend to describe a free-for-all with fisticuffs in Alaska during which police were called to deal with a rowdy hillbilly family - the Palins, of course. It's almost the perfect Palin story. And there are multiple versions, each Palin-licious!

Here's the original widely-published account:

Sarah Palin and her family were at the center of a lively party last weekend that erupted into a fight, with daughter Bristol Palin allegedly throwing a right hook, a man who says he was a guest at the party told ABC News.
“She was punching him [another man] in the face like six times; it was an assault if I’ve ever seen one,” Eric Thompson said, adding that he was among 70 guests at the birthday party in Anchorage Saturday.
“It wasn’t a light punch either. She was really hitting him. I’m surprised he just sat there and took it.”
Political blogger Amanda Coyne reported that Sarah Palin, along with husband Todd and kids Bristol, Willow and Track, arrived in a stretch Hummer and that the fighting started as the beer started flowing.
. . . “I heard Sarah Palin yell do you know who I am? All of us could not believe it. We thought we were watching an episode of Jerry Springer,” he added.
~ ABC News: Palin Family in House Party Brawl


The Palins were quick to supply their own version of events:
But according to the Palin family’s version of events, the instigator was actually the former boyfriend.
The initial tussle occurred, the source said, after the young man in question “tried to get in” to the Hummer limousine after he’d engaged in some unspecified “questionable behavior.”
Track Palin soon found himself struggling to fend off four men who had “piled on him,” according to the source.
Todd Palin then inserted himself into the brawl, which left the former “First Dude” of Alaska bleeding.
. . . According to the source, as her husband and son were trading blows with their adversaries, Palin was yelling (in reference to her son), “Don’t you know who he is? He’s a vet!”
. . . “From my understanding, she was in full ‘mama grizzly’ mode defending the kids,” the source said of Sarah Palin’s mindset.
~ RealClearPolitics Version from "Source" close to family


But my favorite version is from Mudflats Blog, which is correct about the Palins 99% of the time:

The Palins arrived at the party, but not just Sarah and Todd who were the only actual invitees from the clan – the whole fan-damnily and some other tagalong friends from Wasilla turned up in a stretch Hummer limo. Because, of course they did. The party was an adult and relaxed event, with most guests at least in their 30s. Reports have come in that Track got into a fight with an ex-boyfriend of Willow’s. But according to my source, the initial fight started when Track and his buddy were aggressively pursuing… how shall I put this… “romantic relations” with some female guests. They were allegedly explicit and crude in their depictions of what they’d like to do with and to the ladies, expressing a desire to “bend them over on the lawn,” according to my source. Apparently the lawn was large enough to include places one could be “bent over.”
. . . Track did not fare well in the ensuing confrontation with the spouse. The irate husband punched Track with the full force of his annoyance, and the young Palin ended up “spread eagle lying on the grass.” You could say someone did end up bent over on the lawn, but not in the way he first envisioned.
. . . Then Sarah shrieked, “Don’t you know who I am?” and other such things making clear the importance of the Palins, and the lack of importance of the non-Palins to whom she was speaking. She then apparently tried to fling herself on top of the giant dog pile into the middle of the melée.
~ Alaska Mudflats Blog


And Mudflats also has the best illustration of the fracas:

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