Saturday, June 28, 2014

Ann Coulter Hates Soccer and the Metric System because "Foreign"

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From a Column entitled: AMERICA'S FAVORITE NATIONAL PASTIME: HATING SOCCER
June 25, 2014
Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation's moral decay.

(1) Individual achievement is not a big factor in soccer. In a real sport, players fumble passes, throw bricks and drop fly balls -- all in front of a crowd. When baseball players strike out, they're standing alone at the plate. But there's also individual glory in home runs, touchdowns and slam-dunks.

 In soccer, the blame is dispersed and almost no one scores anyway. There are no heroes, no losers, no accountability, and no child's fragile self-esteem is bruised. There's a reason perpetually alarmed women are called "soccer moms," not "football moms."

 Do they even have MVPs in soccer? Everyone just runs up and down the field and, every once in a while, a ball accidentally goes in. That's when we're supposed to go wild. I'm already asleep.

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(2) Liberal moms like soccer because it's a sport in which athletic talent finds so little expression that girls can play with boys. No serious sport is co-ed, even at the kindergarten level.

. . . (6) I resent the force-fed aspect of soccer. The same people trying to push soccer on Americans are the ones demanding that we love HBO's "Girls," light-rail, Beyonce and Hillary Clinton. The number of New York Times articles claiming soccer is "catching on" is exceeded only by the ones pretending women's basketball is fascinating.

I note that we don't have to be endlessly told how exciting football is.

(7) It's foreign. In fact, that's the precise reason the Times is constantly hectoring Americans to love soccer. One group of sports fans with whom soccer is not "catching on" at all, is African-Americans. They remain distinctly unimpressed by the fact that the French like it.

(8) Soccer is like the metric system, which liberals also adore because it's European. Naturally, the metric system emerged from the French Revolution, during the brief intervals when they weren't committing mass murder by guillotine.

. . . If more "Americans" are watching soccer today, it's only because of the demographic switch effected by Teddy Kennedy's 1965 immigration law. I promise you:

No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time.

More at Link, Unfortunately

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Excuse me, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
~ Chris Preovolos, SFGate

. . . according to Ann Coulter the only object of sports is to cause either great physical or psychological harm to those who participate. Ann Coulter has a real, disturbing obsession with wanting people to get hurt in sports. Who hurt you, Ann Coulter? Who hurt you?
. . . The metric system is more rational because it’s based on decimals. Everything happens in powers of 10. It’s a lot easier to know that there’s 1000 meters in 1 kilometer versus 5,280 feet in a mile. This is not arguable. By the way, what does Ann Coulter’s fear of logical measurements have to do with soccer again?
~ Matt Yoder on Awful Announcing

It has been fun Ann, but it’s time to give it a rest. The only thing decaying is you.
~ Ben Cohen on Daily Banter

(Trumpets blare ... fade away into sound of one single, broken kazoo).
In the midst of the world's World Cup joy, the conservative ripped the sport on her website, writing "any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation's moral decay."
She probably meant tooth decay, from increased nacho-eating in all those sports bars.
~ Tony Hicks, Contra Costa Times

Well, so much for the idea that Americans don't care about soccer.
The U.S. National team made it out of the so-called "group of death" Thursday to advance to the knockout round of competition at the FIFA World Cup in Brazil.
Regardless of how much further the Stars and Stripes advance in the biggest sporting event on the planet, they already have revealed something that even casual observers can see.
Soccer is now woven inextricably into the fabric of American life.
Television viewership numbers continue to set new highs with each U.S. game.
~ Ed Foster Simeon, President/CEO at U.S. Soccer Foundation

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