Attack of the Birther Zombies

So, if you were from another planet, say, Nut-tron, and you were circling the earth in your saucer looking for a place to land, where would you touch down?
OK, besides New Hampshire.
Arizona, right?
I mean, you'd want to hook up with beings that were on your same wavelength. And judging from the continuing popularity of the "birther" movement in Arizona, you would be welcomed there with open arms … um, provided, of course, you didn't come in through Mexico.
~ from an article in The Hartford Courant by Jim Shea titled: "Arizona Birthers From Outer Space."

I really can't understand the controversy when you are doing a fraud investigation and looking into the possible forgery of government documents...
We feel that document is a forgery. We’re trying to figure out who did it. That’s good police work....
It's one deputy, so what? We have security issues, too, that I can't got into.... He's not going to make any arrests...I didn't say we're going to keep using him. We're not going to use him constantly. He's not assigned to it. For this trip I feel it's important to have a deputy there. He's just a liaison to give advice if needed. He's not doing anything. The posse's been doing the research....
We did visit the Department of Health yesterday and as predicted we were stonewalled...
~ Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, Arizona, explaining why he dispatched Mike Zullo, a member of his Cold Case Squad, as well as a taxpayer-funded policeman to Hawaii to confront the Hall of Records about Obama's birth certificate, quoted Here and Here and Here.




I think we have long since passed the point at which I’d find this story believable in a fictional setting, so, sure, why not have two crack detectives flashing their worthless Maricopa County badges at the Hawaii Department of Health. (I just can’t decide if they should be hard-bitten noir characters or Clouseau-esque bumblers.) But yes a completely crazy person who is in charge of law enforcement for the most populous county in Arizona is probably going to attempt to arrest Barack Obama at some point.
~ Alex Pareene on Salon.com in an article called "Arpaio Goons Sent to Hawaii for Important Birther Investigation."

If I embarrassed the state, I apologize, but that certainly wasn't my intent. I don't think there's anything embarrassing about doing everything I can to help Arizonan's have confidence that the ballot is correct and the people that are on it are entitled to be there. . . . What is so sacred or untouchable about this question that you can't even ask the question?
~ Birther Ken Bennett, Secretary of the State of Arizona, telling radio listeners that he has decided Obama could be on the November ballot after all, but explaining why he was harassing the state of Hawaii over the President's birth certificate.

I don’t know whether Barack Obama was born in the United States of America. I don’t know that. But I do know this, that in his heart, he’s not an American. He’s just not an American.
~ Mike Coffman (R-Colorado) last week

I misspoke and I apologize...I stand by my statement that I mispoke and I apologize. I mispoke and I apologize. I stand by my statement that I mispoke and I apologize. I stand by my statement that I mispoke and I apologize...
~ Mike Coffman last week, when asked by a Denver reporter if he had any other excuse for his birther opinion besides saying that he mispoke.

If I had to do it over again I think I would have said, ‘Let’s move from this birther question, the president was born in the United States, period. . . Let’s just move on and let’s focus on the issues that are going to win this election. And secondly, let’s not ascribe this to those who oppose us that they’re any less Americans than we are.’
~ Ken Coffman (R-Colorado) this week