Thursday, May 7, 2015

Holy Chinooks! Texans Fear #JadeHelm15 Takeover

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In the scary world of right-wing Obama-hating "alternative news" anything can become a conspiracy theory. But when there's a hint of the federal military being involved, then the Bizarro World of Alex Jones goes into full gimble-lock and they spin away into outer space like Apollo 13.

A bunch of loonies in Texas fear that Evil Emperor Obama has finally decided to "invade Texas" and start locking people into concentration camps so he can have a third term. Of course, they've been predicting this since 2008 when Obama was elected President, because what else would a Muslin Bolshevik Facist Socialist BLACK Kenyan Dictator do but herd white people around like a bunch of Cliven Bundy's cows? Git along little dogies!

From Alex Jones Info Wars
“Jade Helm is a challenging eight-week joint military and Interagency (IA) Unconventional Warfare (UW) exercise conducted throughout Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, California, Nevada, Utah and Colorado,” according to an unclassified military document announcing the training drill, which runs from July 15 through September 15.

Multiple branches of the US military, including Green Berets, Navy Seals, and the 82nd Airborne Division, will participate in the 8-week long exercise, which may result in “increased aircraft in the area at night.”

Troops will be tasked with honing advanced skills in “large areas of undeveloped land with low population densities,” and will work alongside “civilians to gain their trust and an understanding of the issues.”

The exercise, in which some participants will be “wearing civilian clothes and driving civilian vehicles,” lists Texas and Utah as “hostile” territory.

I have no problem with Utah and Texas being listed as "hostile." After all, the "Sovereign Citizens" in those states constantly threaten to secede or disobey the government. In fact, Jade Helm 15 could simply be an experiment to see just how much these nutjobs hate their country and want to shoot at our own military. What better way to teach Texas a lesson than to send in the troops for "exercises" with black helicopters just to drive them out of their minds and show them who is in control.

Now I sound like a conspiracy theorist, but seriously folks, the real pro is Greg Abbott, Governor and Top Clown of Texas. Now maybe he was just pandering to the Tea Party Libertarians, or maybe he is just crazy, but this looks really bad for Texas. Stop doing this stuff!

From the Austin-American Stateman:
Gov. Greg Abbott on Tuesday directed the Texas State Guard to monitor Operation Jade Helm 15 to make sure that Texans’ “safety, constitutional rights, private property rights and civil liberties will not be infringed.”
. . . it came amid concerns fueled by Texas talk radio host Alex Jones and his website,, that the military exercise might actually be a precursor to martial law.
“BREAKING! Texas Gov. To Send State Guard To Monitor #JadeHelm Exercise,” Jones tweeted on the governor’s announcement.
Concerns about Jade Helm 15 spilled over Monday night at packed special meeting of the Bastrop County Commissioners Court, where commissioners found themselves facing hostile questions for agreeing to let U.S. military forces train on private property in rural areas of the county this summer as part of the exercise.

After the Military calmly explained that is was just a military exercise, he rolled back the cray-cray:

From Statesmen:
"We are playing a pivotal role of government and that is to provide information for people who have questions,” Abbott said. “It is clear that people in Bastrop had questions, it’s clear from the questions I have received in my office that people have questions about it, and as governor and as government, I think we have an obligation to answer questions of citizens. And, by us working with the Special Operations Forces, we are able to provide information to citizens who were concerned about it.”

Rick Perry also put in his 2 cents worth, sounding less crazy than Abbott at least: "Trust the Military."
I think if you're one of these guys it’s okay to question your government — I do it on a pretty regular basis. The military's something else. "You know, I think our military is quite trustworthy. Civilian leadership – you can always question that, but not the men and women in uniform.

Then of course there is Louie Gohmert, another Texas Rodeo Clown. He just doesn't like that whole "hostile" label on Texas. Even if they sound hostile every day. And stupid. And hostile.

Gohmert via Vox
Once I observed the map depicting ‘hostile,' ‘permissive,' and ‘uncertain' states and locations, I was rather appalled that the hostile areas amazingly have a Republican majority, ‘cling to their guns and religion,' and believe in the sanctity of the United States Constitution. When the federal government begins, even in practice, games or exercises, to consider any U.S. city or state in 'hostile' control and trying to retake it, the message becomes extremely calloused and suspicious.

The Jade Helm operation could really "heat-up" the Southwest this summer as Alex Jones has meltdowns and Rick Perry probably goes back to the border and Greg Abbott hides in the Gov's mansion shaking in his boots and Gohmert remains Gohmert. So make some popcorn while you wait for the black helicopters:

OMG, Chinook Helicopters in Texas and Kansas!
(Well, guess what, I've seen these in TN also.
It's the National Guard having weekend maneuvers. Doh.)


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