Monday, April 15, 2013

North Korean Missile Threats Equal Comedy Gold

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Tensions continue to mount in this North Korea situation. The U.S. has moved a Navy warship off the coast of the Korean Peninsula. Is that going to scare the North Koreans? If you really want to scare them, don't send a warship. Send a Carnival cruise ship.
~ Jay Leno on The Tonight Show

Japan and South Korea are on high alert after North Korea successfully launched a long-range rocket. Both countries are surprised by North Korea's successful launch, but definitely not as surprised as North Korea.
~ Jimmy Fallon

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Why do I feel like this whole thing could be solved by sending Kim Jong Un a Disneyland pass?
~ Jimmy Kimmel

North Korea has the same ability to launch a nuclear strike against America as I do. It's like walking through a parking lot and getting barked at by a chihuahua locked in a car.
~ Bill Maher

In high school Kim Jong Un starred in a production of the musical 'Grease.' That's also where Kim met his first wife, Olivia Newton Jong.
~ Conan O'Brien

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Japan gave warnings too. They said if North Korea tests this new weapon, Japan will have no choice but to set up their own missile defense system. They're adorable little missiles with 'Hello Kitty' on them.
~ Craig Ferguson

Dealing with the North Koreans is very difficult. They have a history of making irrational decisions to divert the world's attention from the fact their system has totally collapsed. No wait, sorry. I was thinking of NBC.
~ Craig Ferguson

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